Friday, February 10, 2012

Royal spoil....

My father really is a wonderful gift giver. Last valentines day he spoiled Mom, Ash and me with a gift certificate at the Sanctuary medical spa, for the royal spoil. And like mother and daughters, we all put it off until this week, but I couldn't think of a better week to be pampered (having a slight pity party...more on this later). They have so much going on in this royal spoil that I had to split it up between two days. Yesterday evening I did the hour facial. It was my first time to have a facial and it was amazing. Then I put on my robe and went to the room next door for my 90 min massage. It was very hard to get up and walk out, i just wanted to lay there forever. Today I go back for manicure and makeup. Tonight we are celebrating Taylors 30th birthday with friends. I'm going to feel extra pampered and pretty with someone else doing my makeup. I could get used to this. Ready to see what we get this valentines day. Hope he doesn't forget.... Hey dad!

Now this is where it gets a little pit party

But back to this week being the perfect week.....I have been extra emotional! I know what you are thinking maybe your pregnant....but nope....that is kind of the reason for my emotions. It seems like everywhere I go so many people ask me "so when are you and Taylor going to have children". I think I always take a deep breath, that lasts at least 10 sec, then respond with either.... Mind your own business "Well it is in Gods hands now"....always makes the convo end, or "we have been trying since May".....which then everyone responds with "well it will happen when you least expect it", "You are so young, just have fun" or "just remember God has a plan". I know this, I really have been in good spirits and very positive knowing God does have a plan. I want to let go and have him in control but it's hard when you are reminded everyday. Also when everyone around you is pregnant...seriously... Taylor and I have so many friends with young children or expecting...which I love, more kids for my kid to play day. I'm very happy for each of them (please no one take that the wrong way) each of them have been in my shoes and are the most deserving people and are great parents or going to be great parents. Everyone knows I love baby talk and everything about it, I mean it's what I do for a living.....that is what is getting to me the most. I am very happy for each pt that I take care of and help make there labor and delivery experience everything they thought it would be. It bother sme when there are people that can't stop doing drugs long enough to carry a child to term or can't stop taking pain killers. It just gets annoying. This is what make me question things...Like why me... why them, but I know there is a plan for me.

But this month I just knew we were pregnant. Every "early pregnant sign" I had. (this is where being a L&D nurse can be too much for me). I had fun ways of telling Taylor for his bday. Plans to tell our family and close friends on valentines day...too much planning? I know I can't help it. So I was getting impatient just waiting, so I got my blood taken as an outpatient at work.....negative! Now I'm going to have a bill to pay for a big NEGATIVE. If I would have just been patient. But I just knew it would be positive. I'm tired of my every thought being about a baby. When friends ask us about a summer trip, my first thought is ok it's feb, if I were to get pregnant this month,I would be due in nov, yeah we can do a beach trip. Or even how I would have to rearrange my house or if we buy a new house my first thought is what room will be the nursery. When in buy an article of clothing i would if i could wear it if i was pregnancy or next season if i haven't lost the baby weight. Ahhh....this is what I was afraid of, I didn't want this to take over my life....and I'm thinking it has. I wanted it just to happen, we wouldn't be trying but not preventing. Now my thoughts are if something if wrong with me or Taylor! Gosh I know God is getting tired of hearing from me.

Ok so i know I'm normally the happy girl with a smile on my face but not this week. I will say, I have such a sweet friend and sister that are not sure what to do with me in this stage of emotions. I just told them I'm very emotional and don't be worried if I start crying over nothing. My sweet friend Kelsi, laughed and said I'm just glad your normal and get sad every now and then, you always seem like everything is going just fine and always happy. This did make me laugh, little does she know. So then we went shopping. Retail therapy is great. I have now bought all my outfits for every one of my sister's wedding showers, bachelorette weekend, rehearsal dinner, wedding, ....done.

Ok sorry to be so personal but sometimes you have to get it all out. But I do have a very fun weekend to enjoy so I'm just going to have fun. Also the next couple of months will be celebrating my sister and Michael getting marriend and then florida trip for the wedding just 2 months away. So many fun things to look forward to. I hope to tell ya'll this is the last pity party post.... but we will see! I have held this in for 10 months now... well 10 months ago I wasn't as annoyed with it as I am now... But now off to plan a fun weekend for the birthday boy! Life must go on!


  1. I happened upon your post through Megan's blog. This post struck a cord with me since I also experienced the exact same frustrations. After a few of months of trying, my husband and I invested in the Clear Blue fertility monitor. I'm happy to report that we conceived the first month we used it! It was totally worth the investment. I wish you the best on your journey.

  2. Hi i’m Heather! I have a question for you! Please email me :)

  3. Sweet Jenny. Praying for God's perfect timing. Going through the "waiting" game with lots of friends and I still have a hard time understanding it, sorry girl! You'll be the best mama when the time comes. Hope all is well with everything else. Hope to see you soon!

  4. I'm playing catch up!

    and girl... I have been there. It consumes you. I honestly don't have any good advice..that I know of. God does have a plan, don't pee after sex, ya know..and bunch of random stuff. I feel like I did so many things, who knows if anything specific helped, but I know one thing... pity parties are normal and you don't apologize!

    God doesn't get tired of you. This is part of his plan. You talk and he listens :) I had to learn to let it go both ways..not always easy!

    Hang in there! It will happen :)

  5. Jenni just wanted you to know that I will thinking about you and praying for you. Also know that you are not alone. Thomas and I have been "just letting whatever happens, happen" for about a year now. I would say we have been "trying" the whole time, but we definitely have for the past 4-5 months. It is hard seeing everyone around you getting pregnant and having babies but I really feel like it just isn't our time yet. God has crazy ways of making things happen when it is his time. If you ever want to emails me I will be happy to chat with you on what we have been doing, what meds I have been taking and what foods I try to avoid if possible ;). Just remember the pregnancy is a true miracle and the odds are actually stacked against you to get pregnant. Thing about it. Out of all of the days out of the month you can only get pregnant 5-6. And even on those days your chances are slim. I have read tons of books (which I am sure you have since you are a nurse) and it just makes you realize how HARD it is to get pregnant. The numbers have to align. And one day they will for you. I will keep you in my baby prayers ;)

  6. I just found your blog and this is only the 2nd post I've read, but I just wanted to say I've been in your shoes and know just exactly how hard it can be. I have no words of wisdom or advice, because I know that unsolicited comments are the worst, but I sincerely hope everything works out for y'all soon!!