Royal spoil....

My father really is a wonderful gift giver. Last valentines day he spoiled Mom, Ash and me with a gift certificate at the Sanctuary medical spa, for the royal spoil. And like mother and daughters, we all put it off until this week, but I couldn't think of a better week to be pampered (having a slight pity party...more on this later). They have so much going on in this royal spoil that I had to split it up between two days. Yesterday evening I did the hour facial. It was my first time to have a facial and it was amazing. Then I put on my robe and went to the room next door for my 90 min massage. It was very hard to get up and walk out, i just wanted to lay there forever. Today I go back for manicure and makeup. Tonight we are celebrating Taylors 30th birthday with friends. I'm going to feel extra pampered and pretty with someone else doing my makeup. I could get used to this. Ready to see what we get this valentines day. Hope he doesn't forget.... Hey dad!

Now this is where it gets a little pit party

But back to this week being the perfect week.....I have been extra emotional! I know what you are thinking maybe your pregnant....but nope....that is kind of the reason for my emotions. It seems like everywhere I go so many people ask me "so when are you and Taylor going to have children". I think I always take a deep breath, that lasts at least 10 sec, then respond with either.... Mind your own business "Well it is in Gods hands now"....always makes the convo end, or "we have been trying since May".....which then everyone responds with "well it will happen when you least expect it", "You are so young, just have fun" or "just remember God has a plan". I know this, I really have been in good spirits and very positive knowing God does have a plan. I want to let go and have him in control but it's hard when you are reminded everyday. Also when everyone around you is pregnant...seriously... Taylor and I have so many friends with young children or expecting...which I love, more kids for my kid to play with...one day. I'm very happy for each of them (please no one take that the wrong way) each of them have been in my shoes and are the most deserving people and are great parents or going to be great parents. Everyone knows I love baby talk and everything about it, I mean it's what I do for a living.....that is what is getting to me the most. I am very happy for each pt that I take care of and help make there labor and delivery experience everything they thought it would be. It bother sme when there are people that can't stop doing drugs long enough to carry a child to term or can't stop taking pain killers. It just gets annoying. This is what make me question things...Like why me... why them, but I know there is a plan for me.

But this month I just knew we were pregnant. Every "early pregnant sign" I had. (this is where being a L&D nurse can be too much for me). I had fun ways of telling Taylor for his bday. Plans to tell our family and close friends on valentines day...too much planning? I know I can't help it. So I was getting impatient just waiting, so I got my blood taken as an outpatient at work.....negative! Now I'm going to have a bill to pay for a big NEGATIVE. If I would have just been patient. But I just knew it would be positive. I'm tired of my every thought being about a baby. When friends ask us about a summer trip, my first thought is ok it's feb, if I were to get pregnant this month,I would be due in nov, yeah we can do a beach trip. Or even how I would have to rearrange my house or if we buy a new house my first thought is what room will be the nursery. When in buy an article of clothing i would if i could wear it if i was pregnancy or next season if i haven't lost the baby weight. Ahhh....this is what I was afraid of, I didn't want this to take over my life....and I'm thinking it has. I wanted it just to happen, we wouldn't be trying but not preventing. Now my thoughts are if something if wrong with me or Taylor! Gosh I know God is getting tired of hearing from me.

Ok so i know I'm normally the happy girl with a smile on my face but not this week. I will say, I have such a sweet friend and sister that are not sure what to do with me in this stage of emotions. I just told them I'm very emotional and don't be worried if I start crying over nothing. My sweet friend Kelsi, laughed and said I'm just glad your normal and get sad every now and then, you always seem like everything is going just fine and always happy. This did make me laugh, little does she know. So then we went shopping. Retail therapy is great. I have now bought all my outfits for every one of my sister's wedding showers, bachelorette weekend, rehearsal dinner, wedding, ....done.

Ok sorry to be so personal but sometimes you have to get it all out. But I do have a very fun weekend to enjoy so I'm just going to have fun. Also the next couple of months will be celebrating my sister and Michael getting marriend and then florida trip for the wedding just 2 months away. So many fun things to look forward to. I hope to tell ya'll this is the last pity party post.... but we will see! I have held this in for 10 months now... well 10 months ago I wasn't as annoyed with it as I am now... But now off to plan a fun weekend for the birthday boy! Life must go on!