Random Post...

Thank you for all the emails, texts messages, FB messages and comments regarding my last post. Most of your comments were positive and made me feel better. I just had to get it off my chest how i was feeling. Since then I am in a much better state. No tears. Although every time I think of a title for my post i am worried people will see the title and look too much into what i am about to say... as in like "surprise"... And people will think i am pregnant... Thinking too much into this... yes i know.

But back to the surprise. Sunday was Taylor's 30th Birthday. I had an entire weekend planned just for him. Including a SURPRISE bday party on Sat. I love surprise parties. We did Mom's surprise 50th bday, My sister's 30th bday and now Taylor's 30th B-day... I really CAN NOT believe I pulled this one off. It was soo hard.. I will post more about this soon when I upload all the pictures. I got these koozies made for his favors... he loves koozies and wanted them so bad for wedding favors but i shot them down b/c too many people i knew did them as favors!

When walking down the Easter isle (yes.. valentines day candy is 50% off and Easter candy is already coming out) I was sooo excited they alreayd had my favorite candy out on the shelf. They are giant Reese's pieces Eggs, they only have them at Easter..Oh.My.Gosh. So when I got home from the store and put them in my secret candy area i still have 2 bags from stocking up last year. Don't judge, they are not old... If you haven't tried them please do. They aren't sold everywhere... but aparently walmart has them this year.

So many good movies coming out.. I really want to see The Vow, WanderLust, This means War... I am not sure that Taylor will be too excited about any of these but I am.

Also BRAVO is still my favorite. Very sad The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is finished..although one last show tonight with lost footage. During the finale why was everyone so mean to Brandi Glanville. I really do like her..i heard she will not be back on next season though.. Very sad. Kyle is still my favorite but i really do love Lisa, Camile and Taylor. Excited about Real Housewives of Orange county!

So ready for Bethenny ever after to start back too. I just love it.
Non-Bravo... REVENGE is great, I won't give last nights episode away for those of you who haven't watched it yet. But very surprising.. I was wondering how it was going to end when we saw the first episode. Very excited about Greys and Private practice joining tonight.

So basically i have such a boring life full of TV..haha. But really i have learned on my days off if i get ready and get out of the house i will just spend $100-$200 on noting..I always end up at Targer and TJ Maxx and well Im trying to cut back... Lately at work by the time 7pm comes i am drained. Tuesday I ate breakfast at 6:30 and didn't eat again until 8 pm, well i had a few crackers around 4pm, So i wouldn't eat the table on my Valentines date! I kept saying i feel as if i am a 60 year old nurse that needs to retire. Not sure if it is going from night shift to day shift but gosh it has been crazy. I just sit in my PJ's and watch TV on my days off! It great!

Alright... hope you all have a good day.

Royal spoil....

My father really is a wonderful gift giver. Last valentines day he spoiled Mom, Ash and me with a gift certificate at the Sanctuary medical spa, for the royal spoil. And like mother and daughters, we all put it off until this week, but I couldn't think of a better week to be pampered (having a slight pity party...more on this later). They have so much going on in this royal spoil that I had to split it up between two days. Yesterday evening I did the hour facial. It was my first time to have a facial and it was amazing. Then I put on my robe and went to the room next door for my 90 min massage. It was very hard to get up and walk out, i just wanted to lay there forever. Today I go back for manicure and makeup. Tonight we are celebrating Taylors 30th birthday with friends. I'm going to feel extra pampered and pretty with someone else doing my makeup. I could get used to this. Ready to see what we get this valentines day. Hope he doesn't forget.... Hey dad!

Now this is where it gets a little pit party

But back to this week being the perfect week.....I have been extra emotional! I know what you are thinking maybe your pregnant....but nope....that is kind of the reason for my emotions. It seems like everywhere I go so many people ask me "so when are you and Taylor going to have children". I think I always take a deep breath, that lasts at least 10 sec, then respond with either.... Mind your own business "Well it is in Gods hands now"....always makes the convo end, or "we have been trying since May".....which then everyone responds with "well it will happen when you least expect it", "You are so young, just have fun" or "just remember God has a plan". I know this, I really have been in good spirits and very positive knowing God does have a plan. I want to let go and have him in control but it's hard when you are reminded everyday. Also when everyone around you is pregnant...seriously... Taylor and I have so many friends with young children or expecting...which I love, more kids for my kid to play with...one day. I'm very happy for each of them (please no one take that the wrong way) each of them have been in my shoes and are the most deserving people and are great parents or going to be great parents. Everyone knows I love baby talk and everything about it, I mean it's what I do for a living.....that is what is getting to me the most. I am very happy for each pt that I take care of and help make there labor and delivery experience everything they thought it would be. It bother sme when there are people that can't stop doing drugs long enough to carry a child to term or can't stop taking pain killers. It just gets annoying. This is what make me question things...Like why me... why them, but I know there is a plan for me.

But this month I just knew we were pregnant. Every "early pregnant sign" I had. (this is where being a L&D nurse can be too much for me). I had fun ways of telling Taylor for his bday. Plans to tell our family and close friends on valentines day...too much planning? I know I can't help it. So I was getting impatient just waiting, so I got my blood taken as an outpatient at work.....negative! Now I'm going to have a bill to pay for a big NEGATIVE. If I would have just been patient. But I just knew it would be positive. I'm tired of my every thought being about a baby. When friends ask us about a summer trip, my first thought is ok it's feb, if I were to get pregnant this month,I would be due in nov, yeah we can do a beach trip. Or even how I would have to rearrange my house or if we buy a new house my first thought is what room will be the nursery. When in buy an article of clothing i would if i could wear it if i was pregnancy or next season if i haven't lost the baby weight. Ahhh....this is what I was afraid of, I didn't want this to take over my life....and I'm thinking it has. I wanted it just to happen, we wouldn't be trying but not preventing. Now my thoughts are if something if wrong with me or Taylor! Gosh I know God is getting tired of hearing from me.

Ok so i know I'm normally the happy girl with a smile on my face but not this week. I will say, I have such a sweet friend and sister that are not sure what to do with me in this stage of emotions. I just told them I'm very emotional and don't be worried if I start crying over nothing. My sweet friend Kelsi, laughed and said I'm just glad your normal and get sad every now and then, you always seem like everything is going just fine and always happy. This did make me laugh, little does she know. So then we went shopping. Retail therapy is great. I have now bought all my outfits for every one of my sister's wedding showers, bachelorette weekend, rehearsal dinner, wedding, ....done.

Ok sorry to be so personal but sometimes you have to get it all out. But I do have a very fun weekend to enjoy so I'm just going to have fun. Also the next couple of months will be celebrating my sister and Michael getting marriend and then florida trip for the wedding just 2 months away. So many fun things to look forward to. I hope to tell ya'll this is the last pity party post.... but we will see! I have held this in for 10 months now... well 10 months ago I wasn't as annoyed with it as I am now... But now off to plan a fun weekend for the birthday boy! Life must go on!